Things pretty much blur until after I'm 8 and we're moved into our new house. I know at this point I'm in the 3rd grade and had a lot of trouble adjusting to the new school and making new friends. I started having trouble in school and would cry when frustrated, upset or angry. My teacher tried often to speak to my parents about my behavior. My bus driver once stopped at my house and honked the horn until my mother went out to speak with her. I wasn't acting up on the bus, but I would get upset and cry if I was not allowed to sit with the one girl that I knew from school. I remember being punished for crying at school.

At this point I think was when I started to withdraw. I was quickly becoming a very unhappy child. I learned that if I showed any signs of unhappiness I would receive hard punishments, so I "put on a happy face" bottling everything up inside. Relatives have told me that I was bright and very bubbly at a young age, but grew "quiet" as I got older. I think being punished for showing any sign of displeasure or disagreement is what started my decline inward. I was forced to hide my emotions, not to appear upset in any way, or I would be spanked and yelled at when I got home by Dad. Even now, as an adult, he gets angry with me if I cry or get upset in public.